the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
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was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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