dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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