he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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