So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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