you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
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I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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