I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize