bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
no, he came in my armpit
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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