Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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