i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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