Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He did a backflip because drugs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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