# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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