Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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