you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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