I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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