remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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