True but thats because hes a fetus.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize