I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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