Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize