I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize