so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize