i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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