ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize