I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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