Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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