Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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