He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize