just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize