do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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