I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize