I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
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Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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