Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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