My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize