There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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