I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
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I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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