About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
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I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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