The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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