i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize