Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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