Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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