Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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