Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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