Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
why does every cop we meet know your name?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize