Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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