I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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