yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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