I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize