I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize