no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Say something about gay babies.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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