garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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