I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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